These are woodwinds, the strings, the brass, and the percussion.
There's also someone standing in front of all these other folks playing no instrument at all. It is generally required that the conductor is required to make musical decisions and to hold all of the instruments together in a cohesive interpretation of any given work. Rather, the conductor is necessary because the four groups would rather eat Velveeta than have anything to do with someone from another section.
Oboists can't drive and always wear clothes one size too small.
They all wear berets and have special eating requirements which are endlessly annoying and which are intended to make them seem somewhat special. They are your worst enemy, but they come on so sweet that it's really hard to catch them at their game.
from a loud, broken-down tour bus because that was the only time I could call.
English horn players are losers, although they dress better than oboists. Here's an instrument that's better seen than heard.
Bassoon players like to give the impression that theirs is a very hard instrument to play, but the truth is that the bassoon only plays one or two notes per piece and is therefore only heard for a minute in any given evening.
It is important that you do not act like a dick about this and that you are extra-awesome to me after shows. I'm super-loyal and eerily dependable, but if I need to rehearse or record or do a photo session in an abandoned saloon somewhere, that's going to be more important than watching and honestly I'm not sure I ever will.
This way, I'll still talk to other people, but mentally I'm like, 2.