It’s not a real surprise to find out that a Nice Guy who doesn’t take care of his appearance and believes that he’s owed a girlfriend is having a hard time getting that 10 to give him her number.Meanwhile he sees Studly Good Night go up, slap her on the ass, tell her obscene jokes and takes her home that night to fuck her until her eyes bleed.The problem is that this falls under what’s known as the confirmation bias: the tendency to only believe evidence that validates an already existing belief. Before you start, let me forestall the inevitable “Great, so you don’t have to be hot, you just have to be powerful/rich/more talented than God”. They have passion in their life and know how to convey it. They can make women laugh, feel special without putting them on a pedestal and yet not come across as needy. Women are closer to true social equality than ever before: wages are growing closer to parity, women outnumber men in college attendance and are achieving leadership positions in corporations and government in ways that previous generations could only dream of.There is far more to attraction than looks – though they help – or being in the rarified 1% of money, talent or fame. And yet men have to do all the work when it comes to courtship.It stands to reason that since women have all of the power when it comes to dating, they get to pick and choose from men who get laid are alpha males with lantern jaws and six-pack abs.Everybody else – the beta males, the socially awkward, the chubby, husky dudes, the symetrically challenged – they’re left holding the bag of dudes who aren’t exactly making the cover of People’s Sexiest Man shopping with their girlfriends and wives. ” I hear some of you cry, at which point we’re right back to the same issue as before: “the impossibly hot woman I want to date/sleep with won’t date .” So straight talk: societally accepted standards of beauty kind of suck.
In online dating, for example, the number of men on dating sites tends to easily outnumber the women.They promote literally impossible standards in myriad ways – both overt and subtle.Beauty standards as we’re taught in western culture are European features and bodies and skin that can only be achieved via money, surgery and lots and LOTS of Photoshop.Because sex is so much more easily attainable for women – or so the conventional wisdom goes – they have luxury of being able to define the standards which men must meet, wantonly cutting off men who are not rich, tall douchebags with square jaws and fast cars.Men feel helpless; they feel that they are forced to leap through hoops in order to win women’s approval and hope that she will pick him against all odds. In fact, not only is the idea that women somehow control all the power in sex and dating not true, but it’s a case of people asking the wrong question.