Here are ten hilarious mini-collections of quotes about the Internet.
- Julia Roberts Dates used to be made days or even weeks in advance. That is, you get a phone call from someone who says, "If anyone asks, I was out to dinner with you last night, okay? It's being able to eat anything without getting fat. On the other hand, things being what they are today, most of us will settle for a guy who holds down a steady job and isn't carrying an infectious disease. O'Rourke There is nothing so awkward as courting a woman whilst she is making sausages.
The roundtable commissioner and staff demonstrate elements of a model meeting that leaders may use as a pattern for their own meetings.
As a result of the roundtable experience, unit leaders will be inspired, motivated, and able to provide a stronger program for their Scouts.
Her reply: "chloroform""You ever pour glue on a bird? There's no reason to." - George Carlin"Guys, if you can blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be here all alone tonight...watching an empty stage" - Bill Hicks Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair Said Simple Simon to the pieman"What have you got there?
"Said the pieman unto Simon"Pies, dumbass""Some days, it just doesn't pay to chew through the leather straps..." - Emo Phillips"I'm tired of chasing my dreams.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. - Yasmine Bleeth If people waited to know each other before they were married, the world wouldn't be so grossly over-populated. Somerset Maugham Famous Writer needs woman to organize his life and spend his money.
I'm just going to ask them where they are headed so we can meet up later" -Mitch Headburg When life hands you lemons, make grape juice and let the rest of the world wonder how the hell you just did one I live my life by I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again,it was probably well worth it. ^^^ probably, because while he's in the forest his girlfriend is texting him for hours, and since there's no reception in the forest, he cannot answer her, so she gets angry because she thinks he is ignoring her...i guess men can't win either way!
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Sex is like snow: You don't know how many inches you'll get or how long it's going to last.
I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. He thought he would be funny by using the word 'pen! She fell over laughing when it said its not long enough to accept."Thoughts to Ponder Number 10Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rateat which one can die. If you see him withoutan erection, make him a sandwich.