A reader alerted me today to a post on XO Jane about a fashion editor wearing a sheer top to work, entitled “DO THIS DON’T: WEAR A SHEER SHIRT TO WORK.” Uh, no.Now, as this editor admits, she’s never worked outside the fashion and beauty world, so maybe our resumes just aren’t lining up — but even for a creative field, this is the kind of look that would just make me think “Wow, that poor girl must not realize her top is totally see-through. ” In fact, I disagree with almost every single line in her column.I've illustrated an example of this in the diagram below.A woman who is a 5.5 out of 10 has the potential to be a 7.5, so she "knows" that she can get men of that caliber (), and she is constantly being rejected by them.But in general, we know ourselves well; we know what we are capable of becoming.This is true in all aspects of our lives: business, working out, academic learning - everywhere. Because we know ourselves, we also know roughly what we should be able to get when it comes to the opposite sex. " This is a symptom of the above-described phenomenon: you know that you have the right "raw material" to attract the kind of man you want (in fact, "the kind of man you want" is partially defined by your self-knowledge), but you are confused about why it hasn't happened for you yet. You have the potential, but you haven't fulfilled it.At most, it is a reliable source of advice for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex.
Now, with all due respect to this editor, perhaps she had a big work function that night that required her to wear an edgy, sheer top.So your discontent in dating boils down to the fact that you aren't living up to your own standards - yet.Incidentally, this also explains why most people have such an aversion to settling: our subconscious knowledge of what we "should" be able to get is achievable (if not currently accurate), so it seems defeatist to accept something less.You know you have great hair, but you don't put the effort in to style it well, so it does you little good.You know you are pretty, but you haven't confronted your fear of looking a little awkward, and this has dramatically slowed your efforts at learning how to dress yourself well.